– Tamara Kern, Arhanta Yoga Graduate
For about 13 years, I have been a personal trainer and a group-instructor. After four years of experience, I noticed that physical movements alone are not the solution to mental problems and to break patterns which are not working anymore. I watched people go to yoga classes. Among those people, I noticed a difference between those just doing some yoga, and those actually undergoing yoga. The latter really changed, both physically and mentally. By seeing that change in people, I also became curious, and I remembered the silence I had in me as a little girl.
As a child, I could really be present in the moment, and enjoy every moment. I could just be. There was a silence and a feeling of fulfillment. I also remember that I had a certain awareness which I had lost over the years. It was difficult to get in touch with that again, but I knew that underneath the surface, it was still there. I had a different childhood, but I also had a very strong mind and a will of my own. I wanted to discover that child again. The child with almost no layers, no labels, no judgements on myself or others. The child with an open heart. The child that trusted her own gut feeling and did not have any interference from the mind. The child with awareness.
One of my teachers once told me that we live our lives forward, but it is understood backwards. And now indeed, I understand that I needed the childhood that I had, and I am grateful for it. It turned me into the person that I am now.
About seven years ago, my boyfriend asked me if I was in balance. He asked me this because at the time I was trying to solve my mental problems by working out twice a day, seven days a week. From that moment on, my spiritual journey began. I started becoming aware of my emotions and the relation between my emotions, my physical body, my thoughts and my behaviour. They were all somehow connected to each other. Step by step I was developing myself and I started peeling off all the layers that I had built over the years. Year in, year out, I did yoga on and off. I took courses and followed a lot of workshops like Neuro Linguistic Programming, Non-Violent Communication, Reiki, Mindfulness and Heartmath. I read a lot about (Positive) Psychology, Yoga, and so much more.
For a couple of years, I saw some posts from Arhanta Yoga passing by on Facebook. In 2016, I decided that I was ready to develop myself more and to really jump into it. I was browsing on the Internet, and again, the first thing that crossed my path was Arhanta Yoga. I don’t believe in coincidences and I had such a good feeling about this place that I completed the form. When I sent the email, I felt in my entire body that this was meant to be.
In November 2017, my yoga teacher training course started. During that month, everything I had in my mental backpack fell into place. It all made sense. And it still does. The philosophy behind the yoga, the Hatha Yoga poses and my own practice. The poses, connected with emotions, feelings, thoughts and behaviours. The breathing that I had been doing for years. The meditation. The path I am following and everything around it. Even the people I meet in my life.
After one month as a yoga teacher I decided that I wasn’t done learning and that the learning process had just started. That is when I applied to become a volunteer with Arhanta Yoga. And once again, I left there with so much more in my mental backpack than before. It is all about developing myself, peeling off the layers one by one, taking one step at a time and becoming more aware. Because this has effect on myself, others and the universe.
I also believe that it is thanks to the teachers here who are so self-aware, that it is possible to grow here as a student and as a volunteer. They allow you to grow in your own time, your own way and at your own pace.
I will definitely come back as a volunteer next year. In the meantime, I continue to grow as a human being.